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The Shape of Things
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26th-Apr-2013 08:51 am - Dear LiveJournal
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I will make as many entries as required to keep you from deleting my journal. Stop moving the goalposts.

Love, me.
17th-Jul-2006 12:34 pm - Something to Brood Over
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"So, Wolverine and I were trussed up, and the Brood Queen looked as pleased as punch to have such strapping young bucks to host her spawn."

He shifts to a muscle-man form to emphasize the 'strapping young bucks' comment, then back to normal.

"I was still a little woozy from the fight before - really just starting to regain my senses. And as I was awakening, I noticed something odd - an extra weight that wasn't there before. Naturally, I ejected the foreign matter - not THAT way, ew."

"So there's a plop sound, and suddenly there's a tiny brown Brood egg laying on the floor. Well, the Queen hears this, and comes over to check it out." One hand shifts into a miniature replica of the snarling Brood Queen.

"So she zaps me with another would-be Broodling. I wait for her to turn away, and eject that one too. She snarls some more - " The little 'hand puppet' mimics the noise " - and tries again."

"When she turns away, I eject the third one. And now, she's super-mad. She gets real close to my face, all drooling and snarling, and says: 'Whhhhyyy do you reject my offspring?' all sinister-like."

He grins. "So I respond - 'Lady, I haven't even seen a menu yet - I'm pretty sure I didn't order these eggs!'"
20th-Apr-2006 01:47 pm - Vignette
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A glorious day at the park - sun shining, birds chirping, and lots of families picnicking while they can enjoy the weather.

A young, dark-haired man is approached by a collie, which sudden;y emerges form the bushes, barking.

"Whoa, hey there, fella.. nice doggie."

The dog speaks up, snidely. "Don't 'nice doggie' me, you pickpocket!"

The man's eyes grow wide. "Hey.. whoa.. you saw.. and you can.."

The collie rolls its eyes, and sits down. "Yeah, yeah. I can talk, I saw you take the wallet. And if you don't take it right back over to that guy, I'm going to go have a chat with that cop on the other side of the park and let him 'collar' you."

About half of the speech was sinking in, the man babbling incoherently. "But.. the.. talk.. dog.."

The dog chuckles. "What's that, Lassie? Timmy fell down a well?"

Panicking, the man runs off, towards the victim of his earlier crime, wallet held forth, mumbling apologetically all the way. "Dog told me to give this back..."

The collie's form begins to flow like water, taking on the shape of a white-headed man in a garish costume - who promptly doubles over with laughter, slapping his knee.

He wipes away a tear of mirth. "Ooh, I love the dog bit. Gets'em every time.."

He strolls back into the bushes, whistling 'Merry Go Round Broke Down'.
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